At BYU

BYU: The World is Our Campus-- or The Campus is Our World?

So I actually wrote this about a year ago, but I was hesitant in posting it because I wanted to wait until I had all my bases covered, and I thought about getting photos for each of the categories, but for some (read: all) of them it would be hard to get pictures without creeping around stalker-like to get photographs of these people.

When I transferred to BYU last winter, I noticed there were several stereotypes of people on campus, so I put them into these categories I created. I realize they're not perfect, but read and enjoy-- and if you're offended, it's probably because you are one of these people.

The White Rabbit

He's late! He's late! This is the guy who looks like his world may actually end if he doesn't run as fast as he can to wherever he's going.

The Good Parent

Easily spotted as he or she is always found with a baby-- look for a stroller or carseat/carrier. Unfortunate if you have one as a classmate. You may find a toddler under your desk, or hear crying/nursing/giggling throughout the lecture.

The Clown Studies Major

He thinks that a unicycle is the most practical mode of transportation. In the winter when it's too icy, you can find him juggling with his fellow clowns in the Wilk atrium.

The Premie

Frequently seen toting his scriptures, this guy most likely hasn't been on a mission yet (or has returned within the month). White basketball shoes, too-short Target jeans, solid polo or button-up plaid shirt. Common on campus.

The Grinner

For some reason there is always a smile on this guy's face. And it's not a good thing-- he's far too happy and he stares off somewhere to the side.

The Serious Student

Watch out, because this guy sure isn't. His nose is buried in his homework, a study guide, a textbook as he walks. He WILL run into you if possible.

The Skier

Wears a big, puffy jacket too impractical for school, really. All fifteen lift tags are still attached to the zipper.

The American Idol Winner

If you didn't know the lyrics to Kansas' "Carry on Wayward Son," you do now. With earbuds firmly in place, this guy can be found singing his heart out (or dancing) to whatever he hears as he walks along.

The RM

Has been on a mission-- and PROUD OF IT! Often found wearing the jersey of the favorite futbol/hockey/etc team of the area they served in and/or chatting in Mandarin/Portuguese/Czech to other RMs or international students.

The Die-Hard Fan

If the bookstore sells it in the school spirit section, he owns it. "Y" pants, sweatshirt, beanie, backpack, etc. Probably camps out in preparation for Home Games. If you still can't pick him out-- cut him, he bleeds blue.

The Future CEO

Seats him (or her) self down comfortable at a table in the Cougareat with his laptop and his copy of the Wall Street Journal. Always wears a suit.

The Surveyor (applicable to Cougareat)

Stands silently in the middle of all the crowded tables during the lunch rush with his tray full of food, turning slowly and looking for an empty table-- not likely to appear at this time of day. Eventually he turns from Surveyor to Hoverer-- hovering next to a table set for six where the current occupants are putting on coats and gathering trash.

The Speedster

You only see him for a split second as he nearly runs you down on his bike at fifty miles an hour in the middle of a heavily-pedestrianed area.

The Doting Couple

Feel the need to hold hands while they eat, lock lips while standing in line, etc, as though their partner will float away if constant contact is not maintained. Will probably be engaged within six weeks if they aren't already.

The Invalid

They broke their foot/ankle/leg and now they have no choice but to happily roll themselves along on one of those nifty scooter things that are so trendy they're probably faking the injury.

The Entrepreneur

Stops you as you walk to/from class to ask how much you might pay for a bag of nuts. He may alternately try to sign you up for a subscription to the New York Times-- a terrific investment!

The Gold Potato (the first sighted GP was carrying a gold-foiled baked potato)

"Heeeeeeey!!! I haven't seen you in forever!!!" Runs and hugs people. Leans interestedly on the ice cream counter. Wears colorful/distasteful/strange shoes or other items of clothing, especially "interesting" backpacks. Probably knows half the people at BYU. Most people at BYU are, or are capable of being at times, GPs.