Monday, January 13, 2014


It's possible I am actually an elephant, or maybe a blue whale. That might explain what's happening to me. 

I know I'm "only" 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant, and like I think I mentioned before, the real average human gestation is something like 41 weeks and 1 day, but at this point, every day feels something close to eternity. In two days I will have surpassed the longest time my mom was pregnant (which, even though it will make me feel accomplished for some reason, I still want to avoid).

In case you're wondering, they will check me on Thursday to make sure the placenta is still functioning up to snuff, and if it is, they will wait another 5 days or so before we start talking about induction options, starting with non-medical stuff and then go from there. But it's totally and legally safe to leave the baby cooking until 42 weeks and some change so long as the placenta is still working fine and the baby is okay. It's all a matter of patience. 

I've been told by many that as soon as you truly give up and really believe you'll be pregnant forever, that's when the baby comes. But I guess I'm too patient or understanding or whatever, because while I have totally given up and am completely ready to be done and feel like I will never go back to normal, practicality tells me it's not medically possible to stay pregnant forever (aside from stone babies, but that's just sad), which makes me feel like the baby *will* never come, purely because I haven't given up 100%. Which is totally unfair.

Anyway, since I've had enough of feeling like a boulder or an elephant seal and crying because my shoes won't go on and I have to wear the same thing I wore two days ago because literally nothing fits anymore and I can't walk because my pelvis hurts so bad and I can't sleep for 500 reasons (including that I'm really sweaty even though it's probably 40 degrees in the room) and blah blah blah...I am trying to come up with a list of things to look forward to once all of this is FINALLY over! So here is what I've come up with so far:

Lying on my stomach

Lying on my back for longer than a couple of minutes

Bending over

Wearing clothes that fit, pants that button up, shirts that cover me, etc!

Walking and rolling over without pain

Going to the bathroom and having it be more than like a tablespoon even though it felt like Niagara Falls

Running and jumping!

Kissing chubby baby cheeks

Holding, dressing, playing with, singing to, watching an ACTUAL BABY instead of an amorphous alien lump

Being able to let Sam actually interact with and take care of the baby


Well. There you go. I'm sure there's a lot more I just can't think of right now. For those with morbid curiosity, I tell you the following stats:

They are estimating the baby will be between 8 and 8 1/2 pounds (at my last appointment 4 days ago) and is "quite long".

I weigh more than I ever imagined I would. Fortunately no stretch marks though. Maybe that's my consolation prize for gaining more than average.

If I make it to my 41-week appointment on Thursday they will start checking dilation/effacement, but up til now I can only guess.

Aaaaand... I have had approximately ZERO signs that labor is near. Well, nothing solid anyway. So I will continue to hang in there and hope beyond hope that the baby comes before it's too late to give birth in the Birth Center and I have to go to the hospital *anyway*, even though I wanted to avoid that more than anything :(


No pictures 4 u this time of basketball-smuggling-me, it's kind of embarrassing at this point, really. Instead, let's look at these poor-quality pictures of us as youngins and try to speculate what the Unborn One might look like.


Caity Cummings said...

the night you get your first stretch mark is the eve of your labor! at least that's what happened to me. ps sam looks SO MUCH LIKE BEA. it's cray cray. now i will force the baby out using only my mind!! *** -_- *** that's a face with mind powers surrounding it.

Autumn Pando said...

What is the Birth Center?
Also - I didn't know it was possible to NOT get stretch marks! Nice dodge.

Cami Wasden said...

I love this. Even though you're miserable :/ Plus, you are going to have a very very cute little girl. I'm sure she'll be worth the wait. Love you! You're in our prayers!