Saturday, December 21, 2013

The End is Near

The part that comforts me at this point is that I know that within 5 weeks and 3 days, I will have an ACTUAL BABY. Although I'm hoping it's way sooner (because who wants to go to 42 weeks 3 days?). Ahem. Knock on wood.

It has become difficult to do basically everything. Like even typing this is hard because my hands are all tingly and numb and my wrists hurt (pregnancy-induced carpal cool). Putting on my shoes takes about 1,000,005 years because my feet are swollen and I have to wear thick socks because it's cold and I can't bend over to tie my shoes. Moving in general is a Herculean task because at this point whatever SPD I had is like a bazillion times worse. Although I read yesterday that it goes away almost immediately after birth and I am so very much looking forward to not feeling like I'm 85 years old. Until I'm 85. Actually not even then.

Anyway. If you add in pregnancy rhinitis, hormones upon hormones, being kicked internally by a small (but huge?) human who is apparently wearing pointy shoes (even when the baby has hiccups now it's a big deal), and the ever-increasing BH contractions (will I ever get the real thing?), along with every other awesome symptom, I make for one big party animal. Seriously, if they talked a little more about what *really* happens to you when you get pregnant, we might have fewer teen moms.

But aside from all that, I am very ready to be done because everything is ready! Well, mostly. But they are things that can wait. 

We finished our Bradley class last Monday. It was pretty fun over all, and very educational. On the last day we did a "labor rehearsal" where we simulated labor by holding ice cubes and having very loud drum tracks playing (which actually had the unintended effect of making everybody all giggly). Then we used the time to practice a bunch of different methods of relaxation/comfort (which is how Bradley teaches you to deal with labor, unlike Lamaze, where it's all in your breathing). It was, like I said, rather fun. And Sam is now a card-carrying "person qualified to coach a woman in labor"! 

Because everyone is going to ask for proof if Sam tries to coach me...

Something I find a little funny is that people have started asking me if/when I'm going to be induced. The top two reasons I've gotten for this when I ask "why would I?" Are:

1. It's the holidays
2. Everybody gets induced

People have even thrown around the whole tax-benefit-for-the-year thing. Personally, I'm a little perplexed as to why I would want to be induced (I have a long list of reasons why it sounds like a horrible idea to me), but what confuses me even more is that people seem to be disregarding the baby's actual gestational age shouldn't we only be induced out of medical necessity? My midwife (down to just the one, the second has taken an indeterminately long sabbatical and the new-hire midwife doesn't come on until February, when things slow down at the birth center) doesn't even consider induction until you are over 42 weeks. And I guess "they" (scientists?) are in the process of redefining the length of human gestation, since average is actually 41 weeks and 1 day (kill me now). So...just because a baby is "full term" and it's the holidays...? I am feeling I may be getting some people riled up now, so I'll quit while I'm ahead. But, in any case, I personally will not be inducing unless the baby stays cooking until the aforementioned time, which maybe people think is weird, but I don't. I shall abide myself in patience (meaning complaining but not doing anything other than that).

People also think it's weird that I'm not planning on getting an epidural or giving birth in a hospital, but I think I'll save that rant for post-birth just in case something happens and I need a hospital transfer.

Anywho. Babies. Having babies. Let's have a baby. Soon. (Please)

Here's a picture of my (seemingly...I'm unconvinced if I'm actually as big as I think I am) land mass of a self:


Melissa Kunz said...

I'm so sorry you are kind of miserable! I seriously agree with you about the teen mom thing though (even though I'm definitely not feeling as bad as you are). That was pretty funny!

And I feel the same about induction, why would I want to yank my baby out when it's not ready? Of course, if I end up needing it I'll be fine with it but I would *hope* that things end up starting naturally. Your end is near though and I'm so excited to see pics of the cutest baby girl!!!

katie said...

If only labor was like holding ice cubes and listening to drums. But then there would probably be *more* ten moms. I'm pretty anti-induction and anti-epidural as well, so you have no raised eyebrows or weird looks from me. And I do go to the hospital, but mainly because I like the "we're at the hospital just in case something is wrong" aspect of it, which ended up being a good thing in 2/3 of my child birthing experiences. But I know a few people who choose home births, so I'm not weirded out by that, either. Anywho, I'm excited for he arrival of your velociraptor, even if I won't see her in person until the reunion.