Inner Cordage Offer Groin Murder

Oook, I've finally given in and decided to write one of those ubiquitous posts about being pregnant that make people simultaneously want to slap the writer and rub their hands together with excitement. There are just some things you need to write down. I'm keeping a private journal of updates and such to give to the kid later down the road (my mom did this with us and I have loved rereading it every so often). Even so, it's not like I can write "Dear Baby, today you inadvertently caused my stomach acid to burn a hole through my brain stem." Some things you just can't let your poor future offspring know.

So here you go.  Today(ish) I am 24 weeks. I have 2ish (depending on who you ask) weeks left before I hit the 3rd trimester.  I won't regale you with my multitudinous symptoms, but there are two that plague me most. 

The first actually just started about a week ago: the vilest of heartburns that radiates up to my earlobes. And it's not like I need to cut back on the chiles: water does the trick just fine. So does being hungry...which I often am. Ugh.  

The second has been around since about week 13ish, and is slowly getting worse: Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. Ahem. Everybody get out your anatomical skeleton models. Now, see all the parts where the two illia and the sacrum join? Now imagine someone is trying to pry those joinders  apart with a clam knife. Or a hacksaw, you pick. Now imagine that's what you feel when you sleep, turn over, stand up, walk, put your pants on, stand on one leg, ride a horse, make toast, pick your nose (just kidding, who does that psh), etc. You get the idea.

Other than those things and feeling really tired all the time, I can't (well, let's be honest: I do) really complain. I generally get enough sleep despite the midnight pee breaks. I've gained 21 pounds from the beginning and have nary a stretch mark (knock on myself). Brag brag brag.

My favorite part is probably feeling the baby move. I don't find it creepy. I don't even mind when it wakes me up at night. It's the one sure fire way I have of knowing things are going OK in there, and I'm glad to feel it. Maybe ask me again in another couple of months when the baby is so big it looks and feels like an alien is about to burst forth from my abdomen.

We did get the official results back from our ultrasound a few weeks ago. I think I already mentioned the babe is a girl. The scan also showed all the appropriate number of vessels, chambers, limbs, facial orifices, etc. So everything is just swell. Bonus: she's measuring a little big (hence many of the "ish"-s).

Helloooo baby...

I do feel like "a legitimate sort of huge truck" (come on guys, watch The Hot Rock a few dozen more times), but considering how big I know I'll be later on, I really can't complain. I'll be full term December 14th-ish, so the holidays are going to be just one huge partay.

From a couple of weeks ago (I'm making a slightly less horrible face than the one from this week).

And that's about it for now. I'll bore you with the deets on our upcoming childbirth classes and such later.

Side note:  if I read one more birth story that says the baby "gave a lusty cry" I'm going to give someone a lusty sock in the face.

Also: whoever said none of your hair ever falls out when you're pregnant can go chew on the huge wad that comes as a result of my daily shower.

Man I'm bitter...