Allow Me to Be Sappy For Once

Maybe it's the narcotics they're giving me, or the fact that I'm going to be alone for the next couple of hours of the day, or maybe I'm just having one of those days, but I feel the need to say this:

Since I've been in the hospital for the past week, I've come to learn a lot. I've learned a lot about patience (and I always thought I had enough of it-- I'm learning that still isn't true), about hope, and also about love.

I'm grateful that my mother is in town, by my bedside nearly all day, entertaining me, talking to me, rocking me when I get so frustrated or can't deal with the pain. I'm grateful that I have a man in my life who always tries to make me laugh when I feel depressed as I lie in bed, who massages my feet so they don't atrophy, who thinks that I'm beautiful despite the voluminous hospital gown, messy hair, and feeding tube up my nose; who is patient with me when I take my frustration and cabin fever out on him, who walks me through the hallways at a too-slow pace like a 95-year-old woman, and who cries a little from frustration when there's nothing he can do to help me (don't tell him I said that last part).

I'm grateful to my siblings who come to visit me almost every day, for the good friends that I have that come to visit and talk about food so I don't forget that all there is in the world is gross broth and a chemical mixture they shove through your nose; and who come and talk and laugh with me about normal things so I don't feel like an invalid in a hospital.

I'm grateful to the countless nurses I've met over the past week who get to know me, who seem concerned for my welfare, who see me still here a few days later and are sad that I haven't been able to go home yet, who are vying for me to be able to go home so I can do all the exciting things in my life I have coming up.

I'm grateful that this is only a case of acute chronic pancreatitis, and not anything more like the other poor souls in this ward who have cancer and deal with much greater pain than I do now.

Thank you to all of you who are praying for me, who come see me-- to all of you, I love you, and I'm so glad to have you in my life at this time.

Have a good Saturday :)